


L is for Liability

by MariaPriest



Series: Stargate Drabbles' Alphabet Challenge [12]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-05-18 08:16:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14849081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MariaPriest/pseuds/MariaPriest
Summary: Carter drinks something that has a unwelcome effect on her and her teammates need to come to her rescue.





	L is for Liability

**Author's Note:**

> Related episodes are indicated within the story.
> 
> Teen+ rating because of lots of innuendo

Part 1

\-- between _The Enemy Within_ and _Emancipation_ \--

Jack O'Neill took a cautious sip of the warm, luxuriously aromatic liquid offered to him and his team by the charming people of Eritu. It seemed to float along his tongue, stimulating every taste bud gently with a full sweetness tempered lightly with salt and bitterness. "I could drink this stuff every day of the week and twice on Sunday," he announced to those at the head feasting table.

"As could I, Colonel," intoned Teal'c. "It is quite refreshing."

The tribal leader gave his guests an appreciative smile. "We are so glad you are enjoying it, travelers. The god Enki is most generous in sharing his waters with us and we in turn are privileged to share with our visitors." He bowed his head. He turned his attention to the young man next to him. "And you, young one? What do you think?"

Daniel Jackson had yet to taste his share; instead, he was taking in all the magnificent architecture that was right out of ancient Sumeria on Earth. "Oh. I'm sure it's delicious." Absentmindedly, he guzzled the drink. Instantly, his eyes opened wide. "Oh, that's good. _Really_ good."

Samantha Carter, who had been hesitating, shrugged her shoulders and said gamely, "Bottoms up!" An intoxicating warmth spread into every nook and cranny of her body accompanied by a giddy lightheadedness. "This is ... _excellent_." She sighed. "May I have some more?"

The tribal leader smiled again, this time as if he were preparing a young child for disappointing news. "That is not wise for you at this time, Captain Sam Carter. You are new to the waters. Perhaps a bit more later, if needed or desired, when in private with your men."

"With her _men_?" asked O'Neill rather aggressively as he leaned toward their host. Both of Teal'c's eyebrows rose and Daniel's mouth fell open but remained silent.

"Of course. Enki's waters prepare women to better ... _receive_ their men. It helps to ensure fertility. The women here have only one man but I see where you are from, they have several. I am assuming women there prefer, um, differences? Is that the proper word that describes your situation?"

O'Neill rolled his eyes. "No, it doesn't! We don't practice big, I mean, _trig_ amy on our world."

"Uh, Jack, that's not exactly cor-"

"Daniel, this isn't the time for an anthropology lesson. Anyway, it's correct enough for now." Turning his attention back to the tribal leader, O'Neill continued in a less than friendly tone, "What exactly do these waters do to women? And does it do anything to men that maybe we should know about?"

The tribal leader smiled and cocked an eyebrow. "See for yourself." He looked past them.

Three heads turned to look behind them and three sets of eyes widened. O'Neill gulped. "Oh. My."

Somehow, none of them had noticed Carter had left their company. She had joined all the other women, most of whom were totally nude with the rest quickly on their way to that state, dancing along the stretch of beach between the feasting tables and the sacred waters.

"How the hell did she get out of her gear so fast?" O'Neill asked quietly, not expecting an answer. He forced himself not to focus on his second in command. After all, there were plenty of other gorgeous women to watch so he could avoid court martial for ogling behavior unbecoming an officer.

"Who cares." Daniel didn't expect an answer either. "And there go the panties," he stated.

"Color commentary not needed, Dr. Jackson." Then, "Oh, crap!"

Teal'c shifted to accommodate a change in his anatomy. "This is most ... stimulating."

"You can say that again," muttered O'Neill as he made some discreet adjustments of his own.

"This is most -"

"Oh, for cryin' out loud, Teal'c, now's not the time to be so ... literal."

"Okay, we know what the water does to men," said Jackson. "At least I _think_ it's the water." Without looking away from the cavorting females, he said to the tribal leader, "Is our _response_ supposed to be, uh, so intense?"

Jack took small comfort in discovering he wasn't the only one hurting, so to speak. He sought control of himself but to no avail. "Daniel, let's forget about our ... problem. Captain Carter has a much bigger one."

"Oh, I doubt that, Jack," he said dreamily with a hint of lust.

"Get ahold of yourself, Doctor! Carter needs us!"

Jackson laughed. "I bet she does!"

O'Neill rolled his eyes and focused on Teal'c in hopes he could count on the Jaffa. Earth drugs wore off quickly for him so maybe that would be the case here. He cringed when he saw Teal'c staring wild-eyed at the dancers. "Teal'c! Think of ... your grandmother."

"I would rather not."

"Oh, come on! Carter is your teammate, and you know this has got to be humiliating for her. Well, maybe not now, but later."

Sighing deeply after a long moment's hesitation, Teal'c said, "Indeed. She is an officer and a scholar and her behavior is both unseemly and uncharacteristic. We must go to her aid. She must not suffer further embarrassment."

"She doesn't look like she's suffering or embarrassed to me," opined Jackson.

"Oh, for ... Daniel, think of ... the wicked witch of the west. And that's an order!"

Teal'c closed his eyes and sank into a light meditation. Quickly, a certain part of his anatomy began retreating to its relaxed state.

It took a little while longer before Jack and Daniel felt comfortable enough to stand with their own "responses" less obvious.

"Keep thinking about that witch, Daniel," said Jack as he adjusted himself as discreetly as he could. "Hey, Teal'c, take off your shirt. We'll use that to cover Carter until the effects of this ... aphrodisiac wears off."

"Yes, O'Neill. And I will attempt to keep all my other clothing on. The air is redolent with what the Jaffa call _bo'reem_. It is quite ... difficult trying to remain in control."

"I think _bo'reem_ probably translates to pheromones." Daniel took a deep breath and instantly regretted it. "Oops. Probably shouldn't have done that. Think witch, think witch."

"Then how about we try breathing through our mouths? Might help." Jack wiped the sweat from his forehead. It was hard work trying not be affected by all those beautiful women dancing in the most provocative ways. "Let's get Carter out of this mess."

The three men began to weave their way to the beach, dodging the native men that had risen, in more ways than one, to join the women.

"At least _they're_ not auditioning for the nude dance revue," muttered Jack as he led Jackson and Teal'c toward Carter.

"We must hurry, O'Neill!" shouted Teal'c over the increasing din of revelry. "It appears several men have approached CaptainCarter and she is not resisting their advances!"

"What?!" The colonel stopped pushing through the frenzied, aroused crowd to look in the same direction Teal'c was looking in. "Oh, for cryin' out loud!" He grimaced when Daniel let go a hoot.

"Daniel, settle down," snapped O'Neill. But that was becoming more and more difficult for them as they forged through the throng of licentious partiers to get to Carter. O'Neill was convinced this was a new kind of hell; being so out of control on a mission was unacceptable and potentially dangerous for his team.

A few minutes later, they were with Sam. It wasn't hard chasing away her admirers; there were lots of other women available so convincing them to move along was a piece of cake. Now they circled their teammate, backs toward her.

Which was fine, until she started groping them and growling seductively. "Who wants to be first? Or should it be a chorus?" She laughed brightly at her turn of phrase.

Daniel began to turn around but Jack stopped him. "Daniel, don't you dare," he threatened. Then: "Captain Carter, you are a commissioned officer in the U.S. Air Force. Conduct yourself appropriately," commanded O'Neill, which not unexpectedly Carter ignored. _Same goes for you, Jack_ , he thought as he tried to gain some minor control of himself and major control of the situation. A quick glance at his male teammates told him they continued to struggle as well. "Teal'c, do it." At the Jaffa's hesitation, he said, " _Now_."

In seconds, Teal'c had Carter wrapped in his shirt and flung over his shoulder. He grimaced in an effort to ignore the compelling scent now so close to his nose. It didn't help when she giggled and said, "Let the good times roll!"

A glassy-eyed Daniel started running his hand slowly up Sam's bare leg in a way that reminded Jack of Ralphie in that Christmas movie about a BB gun and a shapely lamp. He smacked Daniel's hand away, despite his temptation to pull a Ralphie himself. "Let's make like leaves and blow this joint. Daniel, we'll pick up Carter's stuff along the way."

Leaving, to his relief, proved to be a lot easier. Most people had paired off and some were slowly making their way to the living areas, while a few other couples had decided privacy wasn't an issue for them. Jack snorted at seeing them, fought off yet another rise to greater lengths, and said to no one in particular, "Alien porn. Who'd-a thunk it." He closed his eyes and shook his head in an unsuccessful attempt to clear it of those images.

The feasting tables were deserted with the exception of a few men who were getting up close and personal. "Oy vey - _gay_ alien porn, too," muttered O'Neill. For a second time, the closed eyes and head shake didn't work.

Their things remained undisturbed at the end of the head table. Jack and Daniel placed what pieces of Sam's gear they had found along the way back on the table. Jack sorted them quickly. "Okay, looks like we're missing her, um, skivvies" - he couldn't bring himself to say _panties_ \- "a sock, and a belt. She should have an extra pair of socks in her pack." He looked up at his lustful male teammates; hoped he didn't share that expression. "We can get her dressed, right? We can do this?"

Daniel leered at Sam's legs, which were in perpetual motion, as if she were still dancing. "Sure we can. But do we want to?"

Teal'c pre-empted what was sure to be a dressing down of Daniel by saying quickly, "O'Neill, I believe my symbiote has cleared my body of this potion as I am now fully in control of myself. I will clothe CaptainCarter. However, I will require some instruction on how to put this ... device" - he pointed to the dusty white bra - "on her torso."

O'Neill grinned and let slip, "I'll try, but I'm much better at getting one off."

Daniel let out a peal of laughter. "Ditto for me, Teal'c!"

Jack took a deep breath to banish the inappropriate thoughts and comments that kept popping into his head. "Crap. _So_ should not have said that. Sorry. Well, c'mon, let's get Carter ... covered up." There was just the slightest hint of regret in that pause and final two words.

Between the three of them, they got Sam dressed, albeit sloppily, though it took some time, what with her constant giggling and cooing and pawing at their privates and trying to undress them. It had been enough of a struggle that they had raised a sweat and were panting from the struggles.

"Okay, here's the plan," O'Neill said as he wiped his brow. "Let's get to the 'gate, Daniel and me in the lead, Teal'c, you'll escort the captain the best way you can. We'll camp out there until we're _all_ over the effects of that 'water.'"

Teal'c nodded solemnly as he gently stopped Carter's attempt at putting her arms around his neck. He stooped and Carter was over his shoulder again.

"Hey! That's not fair!" she exclaimed. "All I want to do -"

"Silence, CaptainCarter," he interrupted forcefully. To everyone's surprise, Sam was quiet for the first time since they had joined her on the beach.

Teal'c sighed and turned to O'Neill. "I am ready."

"All righty then. To the 'gate. Teal'c, can you double-time it?" At the Jaffa's affirmative nod, Jack thought, _Of course you can. Never will you cease to amaze me_. "Then, let's get the hell out of R2D2."

LLLL

The run to the stargate started out somewhat painful for the two human males, but the closer they got to their ride home, "things" had returned to normal. O'Neill assumed that they had pretty much sweated out whatever it was that had aroused them all.

Except for Carter. She had regained her voice a few minutes after Teal'c's command to hush. All three men were now sick and tired of hearing her go on and on about what she wanted to do with them as individuals and as a group.

_It can't be too much longer_ , Jack thought as he cooled down from the run and caught his breath. _If I never hear any more dirty talk for the rest of my life, I'll be a happy man_. "First order of business: let's drink _our_ water. Daniel, work with Teal'c on getting Carter to drink. _Lots_. She's still under the influence, so let's make her pee it out."

"What will you do, Colonel O'Neill? Surely you will not yet contact Stargate Command."

"That thought is the furthest thing from my mind. I'll stand watch and try to come up with a story close enough to what happened. It'll save all of us, and especially Carter, at least some embarrassment. Agreed?"

Teal'c and Daniel nodded.

"While I'm thinking about it ... Dr. Jackson, maybe you should reconsider your advice about eating and drinking native food, don'tcha think?"

Daniel harrumphed. "It's a sound anthropological principle. It builds trust between the scientist and the people he's observing."

Jack sighed. Accepting the hospitality of the locals when he'd been on missions around the world had served him well in many cases. "Fine, I get that. Just saying you should reconsider. Remember - we're not on Earth any more."

LLLL

It was nearly three hours later before the men agreed it was safe to go back to Stargate Command. Carter hadn't been "aggressive" for the last hour. She dozed, propped against Teal'c's side, his arm protectively around her shoulder.

Ninety minutes later, after a meal of MREs and some alone time for Carter to re-dress herself properly, O'Neill declared it was time to head back to Stargate Command.

"Okay, campers, remember the little white lies we've agreed to for our reports. Let's go home. Daniel, dial 'er up. Carter, send the code."

"Yes, sir," the obviously mortified captain said.

"Captain, not your fault. Don't you forget that."

"Yes, sir," she replied a bit more confidently.

Moments later, the 'gate kawooshed open followed immediately by code transmission. Daniel squeezed Sam's shoulder and smiled affectionately. Jack was pleased to see that seemed to help Carter return to her normal self - at least on the outside. He smiled as he watched the science twins walk together through the 'gate.

As he and the Jaffa neared the event horizon, Jack said, "Ya know, Teal'c, if we ever come back here, it'll be men only. Maybe eunuchs."

"What are eunuchs, O'Neill?"

"They're men who've -" The rest of his sentence was swallowed by the wormhole.

  
Part 2

\-- tag to _The First Commandment_ \--

Carter lingered in the hallway to one side of the open door to the colonel's office. This was harder than she thought it would be. Finally working up the courage to talk with him, she took a deep breath, strode purposefully to the door, and knocked.

O'Neill kept typing on the ancient desktop computer, eyes never leaving the screen. "Come in. Please."

Taking a deeper breath to settle her increasingly rattled nerves, Carter took one step into the room. "Got a minute, sir?"

Swiveling around to face his visitor, happy he had an excuse to temporarily abandon his paperwork, O'Neill said animatedly, "For you, Carter, I have _way_ more than a minute. What's on your mind?" He leaned back in his chair and waved the captain further in.

A few more steps brought her to the desk. She stood at attention. He said, "Relax, Captain. I've already met my daily quota for chewing out junior officers."

Carter slowly eased into a rather stiff parade rest. "Sir, I request a transfer to another team. Respectfully. Sir."

"What?" O'Neill asked evenly as he sat forward. "Could you repeat that, Captain?" He rubbed and pulled on his ears. "I'm not sure I heard that correctly. Must have some stardust clogging a few connections." He pointed to his head.

Carter barely suppressed a grin in spite of her sullen mood. O'Neill's way of expressing himself was frequently amusing and she would miss that, among other things. "Colonel, I think it best I join another team. One that doesn't involve first contact."

"And that would beeeee ... _why_?"

Though she had practiced what she was going to say, Carter found herself embarrassingly tongue-tied. As the silence and the colonel's expectant look grew longer, she flushed.

O'Neill now leaned forward more when it became apparent that his second in command had an issue. "Let me guess. It's Teal'c, isn't it? He's so talkative and it's hard to get a word in edgewise. Or is it because Daniel's stopped calling you 'Captain Doctor'? Or was it 'Doctor Captain'... Not important. You know he's not obligated to use our titles, so that can't be it." He paused, but still nothing; if anything, she seemed more distressed. "Okay, so it's me. So I bet on that Sha-Na-Na guy in the knife fight you two had. In my defense, I always bet on the shady characters, because if they win, they're less likely to want to beat me to a pulp."

Carter found her voice. "Sir, look at the few missions we've had so far. Being a woman has made me a liability on several of them. First, there was that, um, incident on P3X- 595" - Carter avoided looking directly at O'Neill - "where that concoction I drank made the women do, well, undignified things."

O'Neill, despite Carter's obvious discomfiture, decided to exploit it. The woman needed to learn to not take everything, including herself, so seriously. Sighing deeply, he plastered a smug grin on his face, looked off into space, and said wistfully, "Ah, yes. The dance of the no veils."

Exasperated and embarrassed, Carter's face flamed hotly. Given her limited experience under his command, it was difficult to tell if he was merely teasing, like that tank top remark not too long ago, or genuinely harassing her. But one thing she knew for certain was that he was an honorable man.

"The Shavadai," she blurted after grinding her teeth for a few seconds. "That's another reason. My being a woman came close to getting us all killed. And then I, I couldn't ... stop Jo- Captain Hanson. Your words back on that planet were, well, wise, sir, but it doesn't change the fact that I didn't stop him and the atrocities continued. I put the team and those people in unnecessary danger, Colonel. All because I wasn't strong enough to ..." Carter stopped because her throat swelled with tears, shame, and weakness.

For a moment, O'Neill simply looked blankly at Carter. Then he put his face in his hands. "For cryin' out loud, Carter," he said through his fingers, "we've gone over this already." He placed his hands on the desk. " _All_ of us on P3X-yadda-yadda-yadda suffered a blow to our dignity. And you showed the Shavadai that a woman can be strong and competent. That outcome was only positive. You may even have sparked a change in the status quo on that planet." He stood, huffing a loud breath through his nose as a way showing his impatience with her. Slowly, he walked around the desk until he faced Carter's side. He glared at her but her eyes stared straight ahead.

"So you couldn't shoot the man you were once engaged to. Well, welcome to the _human_ race."

"But -"

"Tut, tut on that but, Captain," O'Neill said as he held up a hand. "Don't interrupt the colonel when he's pretending to be wise again." When she nodded, he cleared his throat and said, "Atta girl."

Carter fumed at what she considered a breach in protocol but kept her mouth shut.

O'Neill chuckled. "Yeah, Carter, you're a girl." He quickly turned serious. "A grown-up girl. A _woman_. And guess what? Only _you_ have a problem with you being a woman. Not the Air Force and _certainly_ not your team. So those stupid waters had a different effect on you. It was the Shavadai who had a problem with women. And do you _really_ believe Daniel could shoot Sha'uri because he's a _man_?" He paused to give Sam a chance to think about what he said. "All of us are a lot of things, Captain, but no matter what gender we are, we're all human." After another pause, he whispered, "Don't ever forget or lose that."

Thinking she heard something akin to regret or sorrow or something she couldn't put a word to, Carter glanced sideways at him. It was there in his eyes, a darkness of memory, so brief that she would wonder for several days whether she had really seen it or imagined it.

O'Neill drummed his long fingers on the desk. "I'm thinking I've made myself clear, Captain. And request denied."

Relaxing her stance, Sam's lips twitched ever so slightly upward as she realized the colonel was right. "No, sir."

" _What?_ " O'Neill growled as he crowded her enough that she could feel his breath on her cheek.

"I said no, sir, because I withdraw my request for transfer. There is no longer a reason to deny it."

O'Neill stifled a relieved and self-contented laugh. He was delighted to play this game. "Oh? What request?"

"Request, sir? I don't know what you're talking about."

"Well, I have been accused of being obtuse and given to daydreaming. Must've been that."

"Yes, sir, must've been."

"Glad we got that cleared up, Captain." Jack began to walk back behind his desk. "And Carter, who knows? Maybe someday, we'll gate to a culture ruled by women and you'll get to rescue Daniel, Teal'c, and me."

"Oh, I doubt that, sir. We're all only human. Or mostly so."

Lowering himself gently into his chair, he said, "Yes, we are. If there's nothing else, you're dismissed, Captain." He waved a hand in a shooing motion. "I have important work to do. Hammond's put me in charge of finding a space for a women's locker room. And if you tell _anyone_ that I ended a sentence with a preposition, you'll be a second lieutenant again. In Minot. Is that clear?"

"Crystal, sir." Carter smiled broadly for the first time in days and giggled as she left the colonel's office.

the end  
© 2016

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to CoriKay for the beta.


End file.
